A Case of Mistaken Identity
by fairytaleslayer
Summary: The Wolf and John are off on another adventure when the TARDIS suddenly dies. The Doctor and Rose are adventuring as well, but when all four are separated, who's who? Throw in Sontarans and Rutans, and the four have a mess on their hands. An alternative to the Howling at the Storm chapter: Unexpected Meetings. Written by pjcrazy and beta-ed by myself.


**A/N: As promised in Howling, here is the chapter by pjcrazy. This is an alternative 'What if?' scenario of the Wolf and John meeting the Doctor and Rose, this time including Sontarans! Get ready for some wacky fun! Again, this was written with my full consent and was beta-ed by myself. Give it some love because he spent a lot of his free time on this, wanting to make sure he not only made it a good story, but stayed true to my characterizations. It's difficult to make something believable when it's a fic based on a fic based on a TV show, and I think he did a fantastic job.**

* * *

A Case of Mistaken Identity

The TARDIS lurched, throwing both occupants to the floor. The console sparked, lights flashed and bangs and whizzes sounded randomly. And above all the noise the grim, sonorous sound of an enormous bell could be heard.

"What's happening?" John yelled, desperately holding on to one of the railings.

The Wolf frantically darted around the console, her hands a blur as she tried to correct whatever had gone wrong. "I don't know! Whatever's going on, the TARDIS doesn't like it!"

"What's that sound anyway?" John gasped. "Sounds horrible!"

The Wolf continued to wrestle with the controls, "That's the Cloister Bell. It rings whenever the TARDIS feels it's in danger. And when something is dangerous enough to worry the TARDIS…"

"_We_ should be very worried." John finished her sentence.

"Exactly," the Wolf agreed. A part of the console suddenly burst into flames, making her yelp. John rushed to grab the fire extinguisher, which they always kept nearby for such occasions, and liberally sprayed the console.

"But _what_ could be causing this?"

Suddenly there was an explosion from within the time rotor itself, and the TARDIS spun dizzily, knocking the pilot and her companion off the console. Everything was a blur and chaotic. Every single light in the TARDIS flashed brilliantly.

Then everything was still.

All the lights in the TARDIS died out. Not even the comforting glow of the Time Rotor remained. Gas masks dropped from the ceiling.

"Th…that can't be possible," the Wolf finally found her voice. "The Time Vortex…it's gone… It's just gone!" She leapt to her feet and ran around the console, flicking switches, pressing buttons and pulling levers. There was no response.

John ran a hand over the controls. "Can't you fix it?"

"There's nothing to fix," the Wolf's voice was dull. It was as if part of her had died along with her TARDIS, "She's perished." She stroked the Time Rotor sadly. "The last TARDIS in the universe, extinct."

John went to the doors. "I'll see if I can get help."

"There's no point." the Wolf's voice floated to him. "We fell out of the Vortex. Through the void, into nothingness."

"You're rambling." John pointed out, placing a hand on the door.

The Wolf ignored him. "We're in some sort of no-place, the silent realm, the lost dimension," she lamented.

John rolled his eyes at her dramatics, opening the doors. "Well, this is new," his voice floated back into the console room, shortly followed by surprised grunts and angry snarls.

"IT'S THE BOY! DO NOT MOVE AND SURRENDER YOURSELF TO THE GLORIOUS SONTARAN EMPIRE!"

The Wolf's head shot up. "What?" She leapt to her feet and to the doors, wiping her face dry. "It can't be…" Her head poked out of the TARDIS to find herself in the middle of a council room. Specifically, a room where a group of very belligerent potato midgets were having a war council.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" one of them yelled, pointing a serious-looking blaster at her chest. He plodded over, glaring at her. "How did you escape our cells?" he demanded.

The Wolf rubbed her temples. "Sontarans," she grumbled. Mentally, she counted up their numbers. Ten Sontarans, might be tricky to disable all of them at once, and they couldn't escape in the TARDIS. Best to play along first, then. She assumed a cocky, confident air, shoving her hands in her pockets and striding around. Five blaster barrels followed her every move, while five remained trained on John. "Right, yes," she held up her empty palms. "We are unarmed – "

"Silence, boy!" The Sontaran spat. "Tell us how you escaped!"

"What?" John spoke from his spot, also holding up his arms. "Escaped? From where? We just got here!"

"Trickery won't work on us a second time, Doctor," the leading Sontaran snarled. "How did you escape from our cells?"

"Look, we were never _in_ your cells!" the Wolf tried to reason.

At that moment alarms blared all over the room. A video screen flickered to life on the walls. "Commander Skorr! The prisoners have escaped!"

It was now or never. The Wolf met John's eyes and mouthed _'Run'._ She whirled and pointed her screwdriver at the light strip around the walls. The sonic buzzed and the lights went dark. In the pandemonium, she made for the doors. There was no sign of John. She ran around a corner and almost rammed into a Sontaran patrol. She flashed them a quick smile and hurriedly took off in the other direction.

"John? John?!" She tried to find her companion. Seeing a computer terminal near her, she quickly hacked into the map. They were on a Sontaran battle cruiser, traveling in deep space, with another ship alongside. She was just about to run a scan for non-Sontaran life forms when she heard footsteps rapidly approaching. John burst out around the corner, his eyes lighting up when he saw her.

"There you are!" He gasped, "Thought I'd never find you." He grabbed her wrist. "Run again!" To her surprise, he practically dragged her down another corridor. She rolled her eyes and ran along.

* * *

"Wolf?" John crept through the building, trying to keep out of the way of any patrols. He had gotten separated from the Wolf as they ran through the door, and now he had no idea where she was.

"Doctor?" Suddenly he heard her right behind him. He spun to meet her just as she threw her arms around him.

He chuckled. _Where had that come from?_ "There you are," he smiled in relief. "Alright, which way?"

The Wolf blinked. "Don't you know?"

He tried for a casual shrug. "No idea. I was hoping you'd have found a way by now."

"Back to the TARDIS?" she suggested.

"Where's the TARDIS?" He laughed.

She blanched. "You don't know?"

"Can't really remember, no." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

The Wolf gave an exasperated shake of her head. "Alright, let's try to find it together." She looked expectantly at him.

What, was he supposed to make all the decisions now? Perhaps this was a test! He took her hand slowly. "Um…let's go that direction?" he asked slowly.

She shrugged. "Your decision, Doctor."

He grinned at the use of his title. "Lets go, then."

* * *

The Wolf and John came up short at a junction. "This way!" She cried, heading left, just at the same moment as John yelled the same thing, heading the other direction. They both stared at each other for a moment, then the Wolf went left just as John turned right. A troop of Sontarans yelling and shooting from the right corridor decided it for them, and they both ran left, laughing.

* * *

"I still have no idea where the TARDIS is," John commented as they ran.

"Found it!" the Wolf gave a triumphant cry. They both ran into the room, only to find a force field surrounding the blue box. They both gazed at the field, then at each other. At the same moment they both thought of the same thing.

"Why don't you sonic it?"

* * *

The Wolf and John hit a dead end, the Sontarans cornering them. "DOCTOR! YOU WILL REMAIN STILL!" the lead Sontaran demanded.

"Hey, hey, hey, he's not the dangerous one," The Wolf hurriedly stepped in front of him. "I'm the one you want."

"Rose, what are you doing?!" He hissed.

_Rose?_ She filed that thought away for now, spreading her arms open. "So how's it going? Which planet are you invading this time?"

The room shook.

"No, hold on," John suddenly spoke up, shoving his hands in his pockets and striding forward in a casual manner. He reached into his pocket and whipped out a pair of frames. The Wolf stared at him, confused. When had John started wearing glasses? Was he, perhaps, imitating her habit of wearing glasses to make herself look smarter? Did he need them? John studied the Sontaran in front of her. "This is a Sontaran battle cruiser, isn't it?"

The Wolf ran to the window, her suspicions confirmed. "A Sontaran cruiser in a firefight." A huge, organic looking spaceship fired at the Sontaran ship, red and green lasers flashing through space. "Rutans."

John rolled his eyes. "As if we didn't have enough to worry about, eh?"

* * *

"What do you mean you don't have a sonic?" John demanded. "You always have your sonic screwdriver."

"I have a sonic screwdriver? Since when?" The Wolf scoffed disbelievingly. "You're the Doctor here!"

"Aren't you the Wolf? Aren't you supposed to have all the answers?" John demanded.

The Wolf looked taken aback. "Why are we bringing this up now!?" She demanded.

John whirled. "What?!"

Their discussion was cut short a group of psychotic potatoes happening to pass by the door. "WE HAVE FOUND THE DOCTOR AND THE BOY!" They were immediately surrounded with dozens of blasters.

"Whoa, there." John spoke, trying to sound as calm as possible, though his heart was beating a frantic drumbeat. Something was wrong with Wolf, she wasn't herself. Perhaps it was whatever had happened to the TARDIS. At any rate, he had to get both of them out of here safely. Squaring his metaphorical shoulders, he pushed down one of the barrels aiming at the Wolf. "Whoa," he said again. His eyes took in their battle armor, their military precision. Soldiers. "You're soldiers, right? You recognize authority." He hazarded. "Now you better know who you're dealing with right here." He glared at them. "That there, is the Wolf. She single-handedly took out an entire fleet of Daleks. Are you sure you want to mess with her?"

The Wolf shot him a glare. "Oh, I couldn't take all the credit, Doctor," she smiled. "What about you? The Oncoming Storm?"

Why does she keep calling me Doctor and not John like she usually does? John quashed down that thought and fought hard to remember. "By the Shadow Proclamation, convention…" he trailed off uncertainly, racking his brain.

"Fifteen?" the Wolf suggested.

"That's it." John shot her a grin. "By Convention Fifteen of the Shadow Proclamation, I demand weapons be laid down and we parley."

The lead potato glowered at him, but apparently could find no fault in his words. "Go in front of me, I will direct you."

"Why don't you lead us?" the Wolf wondered.

The potato's glare intensified. "Sontarans never turn their backs on enemies!"

* * *

"What do you know of the Rutans? And of the Sontarans, for that matter?" The commander asked.

"Rutan host, shapeshifters, bio-technologists, hive mind, origin Ruta III" Wolf recited.

John paused, eyes bulging as he stared at her, as if she had taken the words out of his mouth. He gathered himself, and some suspicion began to dawn in his eyes. "They look like glowing green jellyfish, and have been at war with the Sontarans for millennia. Infinitely adaptable, generate electricity biologically or absorb it from surroundings," he spoke slowly, seeming to study Wolf.

Wolf took a step back, staring at the man she thought was John. There was no way John would know that. She had never mentioned the Sontarans or the Rutans, and they certainly had never encountered them together. "They are shapeshifters," she repeated slowly, "Who kill and dissect their host to learn more about them before assimilating their form. Once they have gained sufficient knowledge, they take over the host's life." A tendril of horror crept into her being. Not John…

Their conversation was interrupted by a sudden hissing and crackling, several surprised exclamatiopns and grunts. Both of them turned to see a Rutan, resembling a glowing green lettuce with tendrils, all of which were crackling with electricity. The other Sontarans lay stunned on the ground. "You know too much," it hissed. "You are coming with us."

Before they could protest, three Rutans teleported into the ship and zapped the two of them unconscious.

* * *

They were back in the original council chamber. John looked at the space where the TARDIS had been, it was gone. Moved to the room they had been in, he presumed. Ten Sontarans sat with them and introduced themselves with short, monosyllabic names.

"You want to take the floor?" he whispered to the Wolf. Her eyes widened in shock, but then she nodded. That was the Wolf he knew, though there was still something…off about her.

The Wolf began. "So, um, we come in peace, we mean absolutely no harm to the Sontarans, and we would just like to be allowed to leave this ship unharmed. We have taken nothing and harmed nobody. Will you allow our request?" John realized what was wrong. The usual bubbly confidence he had come to know from this new Wolf was gone. She looked just like a normal girl trying her best not to show her fear.

"We know who you are!" one Sontaran scoffed. "Deceit is no use, boy!" He pointed one stubby finger at John. "We heard the yellow haired boy call you the Doctor! There is an enemy of the Sontarans known as the Doctor. A face-changer."

Face changer? John held up his hands, "Wait, hold on, -"

"Legend has it you led the battle in the last great Time War!" the commander said bitterly, "The finest war in history and we weren't allowed to be a part of it!" He paused, "Oh, but this is excellent! The last of the Time Lords will die, at the hands of the Sontaran empire!" The other Sontarans gave a cheer.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on here!" John leapt to his feet, "You've got it all wrong! It's –" He bit down on his tongue. If they were after him, they wouldn't go after the Wolf. She was currently in no state to fend them off, while he would perhaps stand a chance. "Wait, you're right, I'm the Doctor," he forced a cheeky grin. "Hi."

* * *

They awoke in a crystalline, organic cell. The Wolf swiped her finger over one of the walls, examining it. "Rutan ship," she murmured to herself. "The Rutan must have disguised itself as a Sontaran to infiltrate the ship."

"How would you know that?" 'John' asked slowly from his corner, where he had also just awoken.

Ah, yes, him. The Wolf turned to study the man she had thought was John. He wasn't John, that was for sure. He wore John's features, but he had a different air about him. His mannerisms were different, his entire demeanor was guarded, and he stared at her with questioning eyes. She gave him a challenging stare of her own. "What?"

"We've never even met the Sontarans or Rutans before, but you know all about them." He strode over, his eyes smoldering. "Tell me what you know about the Sontarans."

"Why don't you tell me first, 'John'?" she replied, voice equally deadly.

He was outright glaring at her now. Wolf had never bore the brunt of John's anger before, but now that the anger was directed at her it was a bit intimidating. The expression on his face suddenly made her remember the title he claimed some time ago, 'The Oncoming Storm'. In a monotone, he recited "Militaristic race, reproduce with cloning machines, origin planet Sontar, lifelong enemies of the Rutans." He looked at her. "Your turn."

"Strong for their size, unable to tell genders apart, belligerent, oh, and they have a weak spot on their probic vent," she hissed back.

'John' reared back and paced around the cell, muttering to himself. Out of the blue, he spoke again. "Cybermen."

The Wolf jerked her head around. "What about them?"

"Tell me what you remember about the Cybermen. Have we met them before?" he probed.

"Planet Mondas, a race of cybernetic humans with no emotions," she replied.

He gave a short scoff. "Cybus industries?"

"Never heard of it." Before he could reply, she went on the attack. "Daleks. Name their home planet and their creator."

"Davros, Planet Skaro. Name the planet twin planet of Clom."

"Raxacoricofallapatorius." She shook her head, her fears confirmed. This wasn't John. This person knew much more about the universe than she had ever shown him. No, this was someone else. An imposter. She took a deep breath. "Name the planet of the Time Lords."

That brought 'John' up short. He gazed at her with a mixture of fear and disbelief, then gave a short laugh. "Gallifrey, coordinates 10-0-11-0-0 by 02 from Galactic Zero Centre."

The Wolf and 'John' strode towards each other, their faces inches apart, eyes staring deep the other's. At the same instant the same question came from their lips.

"Who are you?"

* * *

John awoke in a cell. The Wolf was next to him, tending his wounds. A potato was situated outside their cell cleaning a huge blaster.

"Doctor?" she asked hopefully when she saw his eyes open.

He gave a wry smile. "When did you start calling me the Doctor instead of Johnny?"

"Johnny?" She asked incredulously.

John raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what you used to call me?" His eyebrows creased in concern. "What's wrong with you, Wolf? Ever since we came here you've been acting off."

"Me?! Acting off? If anyone's acting off it's you, Doctor! And why are you calling me Wolf? I thought we put that chapter behind us for a reason!"

John was taken aback. "Whats wrong with you? Did something happen to you when the TARDIS crashed?" He put a hand on her shoulder. "Wolf, are you alright?"

The Wolf threw off his hand angrily. "STOP CALLING ME THAT!" she cried, her eyes furious.

John was taken aback. "But if you're not the Wolf…who are you?"

* * *

"Who are you, what have you done with Rose?!" The man wearing John's features grew increasingly agitated.

"Who's Rose?" the Wolf shot back. "Question is, where's my partner? Where's my John?!"

The man whirled and strode up to her face again, but she didn't flinch. Only once had the Wolf seen this expression on John's face – when he had returned in the TARDIS to save her from the Daleks. Fear, anger and desperation mixed into one.

She was pretty sure it was the expression on her own face. Her concern for her companion overriding all else, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her sonic screwdriver, just at the exact instant that the imposter pulled out his. They reached out and scanned each other simultaneously, then checked their screwdrivers. What they both saw almost made them drop their tools at once.

"Impossible."

"What. What? WHAT?!"

"You're a Time Lady." 'John' stated flatly.

"How do you do, Time Lord?" the Wolf replied in the same steely tone.

"Which one are you? How did you survive the war?" 'John's' expression morphed to one of great longing, yet fear; hope, yet distrust, the exact same ones warring across her face.

"I…would ask you the same question," she spoke quietly. "Who are you? Koschei? Braxatiel? Drax?"

'John' shook his head, the suspicion in his eyes lessened, though not gone completely. "I'm the Doctor," he answered.

The Wolf's eyes widened, but then narrowed. "Theta? Impossible."

"So you knew me, then," Theta deduced quietly. He mentally cycled through a list of names. "Romana? Flavia? Ushas?" He looked her up and down, and his eyes widened. "No…Kuryak?"

The Wolf suddenly stopped questioning how or why. She rushed forward and threw her arms around her oldest and best friend.

* * *

The Wolf could take it no more. "ROSE! Not Wolf! My name is ROSE! Rose Tyler! Please, just stop reminding me of Satellite 5." She leant back on the walls, shoulders shaking slightly. "Why are you doing this, Doctor? You know I used to have nightmares about that place. What if you hadn't regenerated?"

"…Rose?" John stuttered. "ME regenerating? Something is seriously wrong here. Who do you think I am?"

She tentatively reached out a hand. "Doctor… please, just stop."

John rubbed his temples, the frustration of the day building. "You know, you're not making this any easier. Why do you keep calling me 'the Doctor' then? For some reason I don't think you're referring to my previous job. Why do the potatoes think I'm this 'Doctor'? Who is this Doctor?!"

Rose was silent.

"Alright then," John spoke again. "Tell me, who do you think I am?"

Rose raised her eyes to his. "You're the Doctor, the man who grabbed my hand back in the store and yelled 'Run'. You're a Time Lord, the last of your kind. You're the man with a box that's bigger on the inside. You run around and save people and planets just because it's the right thing to do." Her voice became more passionate. "You showed me a better way of living your life. That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away!" She stopped, breathing heavily from her speech.

"You're wrong," John spoke quietly.

Rose looked up, hurt in her eyes. "What?"

John started laughing quietly. "We were both wrong. Oh my god, I think I see it now."

"WHAT?!" Rose demanded.

John stood and raised his hands. "My name is John Smythe. I'm a human doctor of medicine. My life was perfectly ordinary until one night, under a clothes shop, a woman called the Wolf grabbed my hand and told me to run." He strode around the cell, voice growing louder. "She's a Time Lady, last of her kind. She has a box bigger on the inside. She runs and saves planets just because it's the right thing to do." He grinned. "And she's the Time Lady that drove the TARDIS into an alternate universe. At least, that's what I suspect happened."

"An alternate universe?" Rose seemed to start to understand. "You mean, the kind of universe which has the same people but in different circumstances," she realized. "The kind of alternate universe that saps the TARDIS' energy and leaves it lifeless."

John snapped his fingers. "Exactly! You've had experience?"

Rose laughed. "I think I see it now. The Wolf is your universe's version of the Doctor, and you are the companion! Their driving skills match up, at any rate," she deduced.

Then she blinked. "You look exactly like the Doctor. Does that mean…?"

"The Wolf looks exactly like you, yeah," John confirmed.

"So the Doctor is running around with a girl who looks exactly like me?"

"Um…yes?"

"I'm going to kill him."

* * *

"What is going on in there?" the Rutan guard hissed at the commotion.

The Wolf and the Doctor ignored him, their faces alight with pure joy. Casting aside their mental barriers, emotions and thoughts and a jumbled mix of images surged into each mind. Their minds conversed directly to the other, a benefit of being a telepathic race.

"How, how?" Theta's face shone with delight.

Kuryak shook her head in disbelief, though her face mirrored his expression."The Time War! You remained planetside, bound to your duty!" An image of a soldier watching sadly as she stepped into a TARDIS.

His face turned grim, his eyes faraway. "Kuryak, I…I…I saw you at the fall of Arcadia to a platoon of Daleks. The day before I ended it all." A girl backed up against a corner, snarling as she furiously fired energy bolts at the advancing Daleks. EX-TER-MINATE!

Kuryak flinched back from the image. Theta hurriedly sent a mental apology. "Theta, I ran from Gallifrey to escape my responsibilities. But you, noble idiot as you are, you remained at home. The day before I ended the Time War was the day I heard you fell in battle."

"The Moment?"His eyes hardened. The image of the weapon filled both of their minds. It's intricate construction, and the shining red ruby that was the detonator.

She flinched mentally. "Yes, I used the Moment. And the Bad Wolf." There was no condemnation from his end, only sympathy and a shared guilt. Burning, shock, the mental cries of a hundred thousand Gallifreyans and Time Lords, followed by a sudden, cold silence inside their heads.

"How is this possible? Kuryak." His features froze in a moment of realization."Tell me, did your TARDIS fall out of the Vortex, suddenly lifeless? The door was opened and you found yourself here?"

"Exactly!"Kuryak agreed. She saw the thought in Theta's mind. "You don't mean?"

Theta's grin was so wide she could feel it even without looking at his face."That's exactly what I mean. You fell into a parallel universe! A universe where…a different Time Lord survived."

Kuryak relished the feeling of the voice in her mind, banishing the aching emptiness she had felt for so long."It has been so long since I felt anything other than emptiness in my head." A wave of happiness. "It feels good."

"Something you never thought you'd miss, isn't it?" Theta's mental voice took on a dry tone.

"This is wonderful!"

"You do know we can't…actually stay together." Theta's face was downcast, his tone darkened.

Kuryak sent him a mental eye-roll. "I know. There'd be an imbalance in the universes and sooner or later something will –"

"-blow up." Theta finished. He added an image of an explosion for good measure, with its corresponding sound effects. She held down the urge to snicker.

"How is this even possible, by the way? Isn't travel across universes impossible since the Time Lords have gone?"

"Welll. We have never exactly passed our TARDIS driving tests, have we, Kuryak?" Both of them shared a quiet chuckle.

"So we can't stay. And when we leave -" Kuryak noted sadly.

"None of us will remember each other," he agreed.

"Yeah." She slumped.

Theta sent her a mental nudge and wink. "Still, doesn't mean we can't enjoy what time we have left, yeah?"

Kuryak flicked her sonic screwdriver, grinning. "That's the Theta I used to know."

* * *

"You might not believe this, but being captured by potato midgets is not the strangest thing that has happened to me," John laughed.

"Oh?" Rose stuck out her tongue. "I suppose you've met more dangerous enemies?"

"Oh definitely! Compared to the REAL warriors like the Sycorax," he laughed, "these little dwarfs really show signs of being held back in war kindergarten." He winked.

Rose stifled a giggle, peeking at the visibly ruffled Sontaran guard listening to their every word. "Oh, oh, what about the Daleks? If one of them got hit by their death rays, would he turn out baked, mashed or roasted? I have a liking for the baked ones myself."

"You know, it really says something when medical nanogenes can be scarier than these supposed 'glorious conquerors'," John snickered. "I mean, how can you take an invasion by little Humpty Dumptys seriously?"

Rose was visibly struggling to keep a straight face. "You want the short answer to that?"

The Sontaran couldn't take it anymore. "Was that a reference to my height?" he demanded.

Rose smiled innocently. "No, where did you get that idea?"

The Sontaran sniffed. "Words are the weapons of womenfolk." He turned back.

"Doctor! The potato belittled my honor!" Rose complained.

"Be careful who you belittle, Chip. Belittling our womenfolk is a notoriously half-baked idea!" John hollered.

The Sontaran glared at them as they both kept beautifully straight faces.

"He looks like he's going to bite our ankles," Johns stage whispered.

"We may have a little saute on our hands," Rose agreed.

The Sontaran gave them both deep glares, but steadily turned around and pretended to ignore them.

"He's not Happy, is he?" Rose smiled.

"I would say he's a cross between Dopey and Grumpy," John nodded sagely.

"Mock us while you may, Doctor. There are mere minutes remaining," the Sontaran warned.

"Woe is me, my time is growing increasing shorter," John groaned.

"Can we have a last meal?" Rose asked. "I would like some baked potatoes, or do you consider that cannibalism?"

"I'm partial to a bit of shortcake myself," John piped up.

The Sontaran could take it no more. He flung open the cell door and marched inside, aiming his blaster at John. "YOUR IMPUDENCE ENDS HERE, DOCTOR! PERHAPS YOU WILL THINK TWICE ABOUT BELITTLING THE HONOR OF A SONTARAN WARRIOR AFTER YOU REGENERATE!"

John blinked, then snorted. "We got him to say belittle!" he called to Rose.

"DIE!" The Sontaran was just about to squeeze the trigger when Rose whacked the back of his neck as hard as she could. To both of their surprise, the Sontaran collapsed immediately, out cold.

For a moment, they were silent, then the dam broke and they burst into helpless gales of laughter, high fiving as they collapsed back, laughing too hard to get up.

* * *

"So, I'll resonate the walls, you distract the jellyfish outside." Kuryak tapped her screwdriver, which the Rutans had forgotten to confiscate.

"Why do I have to distract the jellyfish?" Theta wondered.

Kuryak sent him her memory of him talking. "Cause your current regeneration has the bigger gob, that's why."

Theta mentally stuck out his tongue at her. "Fair enough. What are you going to do?"

Kuryak knelt beside the walls and activated her screwdriver. "I'm going to try and agitate the molecular structure of the part organic walls around us."

Theta put on his glasses and knelt next to her, examining the walls. "Oh, that's clever, that's really very clever. Since the walls are part organic, then the sonic wavelengths should excite it and cause its cellular structure to disintegrate, causing –"

Kuryak rolled her eyes in fond amusement. "Theta, shut up. Use that gob of yours on the Rutan."

Theta grinned, "Oh, I think I've got just the thing. Have you heard me sing the Gallifreyan Buccaneer yet?"

"The what?"

Theta took a deep breath, "IIIIIIII am the very model of a Gallifreyan Buccanner, I've information on all things a Gallifreyan holds most dear-"

"Dear Rassilon, are you singing?!"

"I've linked into the Matrix through its exitronic circuitry, I understand dimensional and relative chronometry. I'm very well acquainted too – " Kuryak tuned him out and started working on the cell wall.

"Biochemistry was never my strong point," Theta remarked in her mind, while still managing to keep up his rousing song

"No, that was Ushas, wasn't it?" Kuryak agreed. She raised an eyebrow, impressed. "Keeping two lines of conversation at once? Impressive, but now you're just showing off." Theta snickered and cut off the mental conversation. The Rutan was visibly getting steadily annoyed, backing away to try and get out of the range of Theta's vocal cords.

It took a bit of concentration, but Kuryak finally found the optimum frequency. Under the sonic wavelengths, the wall visibly trembled and bent. Keeping a steady beam on the wall, Kuryak decided to see how Theta was doing.

"I've been into the Death zone and I played the Game of Rassilon,

with pestilential monsters that I got a lot of hassle from!

I've tackled shady Castellans with devious behavior.

I've sparred with Time Lord chancellors like Thalia, Goth or Flavia.

In fact on some occasions I've held office Presidentally – "

"Though maybe you won't mention you were ousted eventually." Kuryak retorted, recalling her own adventures

Theta grinned and continued to sing the song of his own invention. Kuryak chuckled and went back to work on the wall. In a matter of minutes, the cellular structure of the wall was weakened enough, and a sizeable hole appeared in the wall. Peeking into the surface of Theta's mind,she found him ready to sing the last verse of his song. Oh, why not? Picking up the verse from his mind, she joined in with a surprisingly good soprano.

"I'm not content to just observe, I am a bold adventurer.  
Though other Time Lords mock this Gallifreyan interventioner.  
I know in every matter that a Time Lord really should hold dear  
I am the very model of a Gallifreyan Buccaneeeeeer!"

They finished with a high note, then simultaneously made for the opening in the wall, with the Rutan too stunned to react. "See ya!"

* * *

The blaring of alarms accompanied John and Rose as they sprinted down the hallways. "Great, we escaped. Now what?" Rose asked as they ducked into an alcove, gasping for breath.

"Now…" John hesitated. "Perhaps we should start searching for the Time Lords. The Wolf and – the Doctor, was it?"

Rose grinned. "I'm willing to bet that if they haven't been captured, they would be heading for their TARDIS, yeah?"

John nodded thoughtfully. "True, but where _are_ their ships?"

Rose smirked. "What about making it up as we go along?"

John raised an eyebrow. "Your Time Lord does that too?"

She chuckled. "Come on, Johnny boy." She took off around the corner.

"Hey, do _not_ call me that!" John yelled after her, picking up his own pace.

* * *

After a relatively short trip into the Rutan control room and a simple reconfiguring of their circuits so they could only drive backwards and the intercommunications system would only say "bananas" no matter what was actually transmitted, Kuryak and Theta made their way to the nearest teleport link, waved cheerily to the Rutan platoon hovering over at full speed and winked out of the Rutan ship.

"Better be prepared for the residents." Theta pulled a cricket ball out of his pocket. "Bet ya I can get three ricochets out of this ball."

A sly smile crossed Kuryak's face as she pulled out a similar ball that glowed slightly. "I was always better than you in sports back at the academy."

"Oh yeah? You didn't see me in my fifth regeneration."

* * *

John and Rose ran for their lives, pursued by a small group of Sontarans they had literally bumped into.

"Got a plan?" John gasped.

"No!" Rose took another quick glance behind. "You know, they're surprisingly fast considering the length of their legs."

They rounded the corner and seemingly slammed into a mirror, as two direct copies of themselves ran into them, falling over in a tangle of limbs. John sat up just as the Sontarans rounded the corner. Without warning, a glowing green ball flew past his line of sight and somehow managed to bounce off the walls without a sign of being influenced by gravity. It bounced until it managed to hit all the Sontarans in the back of their necks, then floated back slowly. A hand reached up from beside him and grabbed it.

"An antigravitic ball from the Antigrav Olympics?" A voice that sounded a lot like his groaned. "Now that's just not fair."

"Ow…" Rose muttered.

John's eyes widened as another man pulled himself upright, a man that looked exactly like him, down to the coat he was wearing. Their eyes met.

"Blimey, that's weird," the Doctor laughed. "It's like looking in a mirror! Spatial-genetic multiplicity?"

Rose picked herself up, brushing some dust off her jacket. "Different species, Theta. More like –" Hold on, that wasn't Rose, John realized. That was the Wolf. Relief coursed through him.

"-alternate universes leading to connected beings through time and space causing similar appearances between individuals leading similar lives with kindred personalities!" The Doctor grinned. "Brilliant!"

John blinked. He extended a hand. "The Doctor, I presume." He turned to the Wolf, "Do I really talk like that?"

The Wolf threw her arms around him, laughing. "Not all the time, Johnny boy, but you do have your moments."

Rose stood up, nursing her head. Her eyes widened at the sight of the Wolf, and the two 'Doctors.' "Oookay…So…which is my Doctor?"

The Doctor threw on a pair of frames and leant towards John, inspecting him closely. John rolled his eyes. Apparently the Wolf wasn't the only one with unnecessary specs and no sense of personal boundaries. "Brilliant, this is," he chuckled. "No wonder you thought I was John, Kuryak."

"Questioned answered." Rose smiled fondly. She paused. "You two know each other?"

The Wolf nodded. "Theta and I were old friends back on Gallifrey. But when the War came…" she trailed off.

"Ah." Rose nodded slowly. She then turned to the Doctor and lightly smacked him.

"Ow!" John protested. "Oi! What the hell was that for?!" The Doctor, who had taken off his frames and stepped back for a while, started snickering.

The mortified Rose apologized to John, swiftly went around him and smacked the Doctor instead. Harder. "Next time, _check_ before running off with some woman," she teased.

The Wolf chuckled, glancing at John. "What do you think? Should I smack you too?"

John raised his hands hurriedly, "One smack is enough! Besides, _she_ ran off with me!"

"STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" A Sontaran yelled.

The Wolf rolled her eyes. "Back to the TARDIS?"

John took her hand. "Back to the TARDIS."

* * *

Back at their TARDIS', John and the Doctor hit on the idea of using the Doctor's TARDIS to 'jumpstart' the Wolf's TARDIS. Now with both TARDIS' glowing and ready for take off, John knew it was time. The time to say goodbye.

The two Time Lords went off a little way and looked at each other, neither saying a word, but emotions flickering across their faces as they engaged in mental conversation. He couldn't seem to take his eyes of them.

"Weird, isn't it?" Rose came up behind him. "It's like…one of those out of body experiences…watching yourself do things." She checked out the Wolf's outfit. "You know, I look good in that get up."

John chuckled.

Rose turned to him. "Well, aren't you going to say something?"

John shrugged. "I don't know what to say."

"Me either," Rose admitted.

"Goodbye? That falls short."

"I know," Rose laughed. "Considering what we just went through."

He smiled. "You were great back there."

"And you made a very believable Doctor," she returned.

"Gee, thanks." John scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Work on that confidence a bit, and you'll make a great Wolf."

Rose smiled, turning back to look at the Time Lords. They were hugging now. She turned back to John. "Take care of her. If she's anything like my Doctor –"

" – She's scarred, and also fragile at times." He winked. "Don't worry. I will."

She lowered her voice. "She needs you." At his raised eyebrow, she continued. "Women find it harder to admit, so take this as a free tip."

John nodded, his throat tight. "Stay safe," he offered.

She stuck out her tongue. "Try not to wander off," she retorted.

They shook hands.

"Rose Tyler –"

"John Smythe."

They pulled each other into a hug. "Goodbye."

* * *

Finally looking up, Theta met the Wolf's eyes. He quickly ducked down and pretended to be fixing a random circuit in the hopes of delaying the parting. His TARDIS sparked. In any other time, with anyone else, Kuryak would have preferred to sneak off in her TARDIS without anyone noticing, but not this time.

Theta walked with her a little way off, and they entered into mental conversation again, both aware that this was very likely the last time they would ever see each other, the last time they would be able to converse with another living Time Lord. For a long time, they couldn't even speak and just looked at each other.

"I don't want to go," Theta spoke at last.

Kuryak snorted, her emotions making her snarky. "You think I do?"

Theta rolled his eyes. "I'll miss you, Kuryak."

"No you won't. You won't even remember this meeting."

He squeezed her hand. "I have missed you, and I will miss you in the same way I miss all my companions."

A tear streaked down her cheek. "My companions break my hearts when they leave."

"They always do, don't they? But when your hearts mend, they will still have a treasured spot inside." Theta allowed her a quick glance into his memories, the faces of his companions flashing past.

Kuryak nodded slowly. "I'll miss you too, Theta. This meeting has been a wonderful gift of the fates."

Theta pulled her into a quick hug. "Be well."

Kuryak hugged back. "Same goes for you."

Eyes bright, they parted, faces regretful yet joyful for the brief adventure they had shared.

Theta nodded to the TARDIS', where John was exchanging his own goodbyes with Rose. "You have a good companion in John. Try to keep him."

"You sure that's not a bit of vanity?" she teased. Theta flushed. She smirked. "Your companion isn't bad either. I like her."

"Our friends have always been the best of us."

"Alright, enough sappiness. Time to go." Kuryak nodded to Theta, then strode away into the TARDIS, ignoring her churning emotions. John finished his goodbyes and entered the TARDIS, closing the door behind him.

Kuryak entered some coordinates into the console. Theta's voice floated into her head again. "I don't know how to say goodbye."

She leant against the console, hands poised on the dematerialization lever. "Me neither. Rassilon, we're out of practice."

He was silent. Finally, he spoke. "See you around, Wolf."

"Safe travels, Doctor." Kuryak threw the lever.

* * *

There was chaos. The TARDIS lurched, throwing both occupants to the floor. The console sparked, lights flashed and bangs and whizzes sounded randomly. And above all the noise the grim, sonorous sound of an enormous bell could be heard.

The time rotor rose and fell irregularly, and the TARDIS spun dizzily, knocking the pilot and her companion off the console. Everything was a blur and chaotic. Every single light in the TARDIS flashed brilliantly.

Then everything was still.

The Wolf shook her head in confusion, eyes scrunched shut as if furiously trying to retain a precious memory. She opened her eyes, blinking.

John let go of her hand gingerly, watching her. "We're back in our universe, right?"

"What just happened?" the Wolf murmured. "Something…something very important, something I can't forget…" She turned to John desperately. "We were in another universe, an alternate one. I met someone there. We just came back to our own universe. What happened there?!"

It hurt John to see her like this, but he knew he couldn't say much. "It's alright Wolf." He reassured, knowing Rose was probably having a similar conversation.

The Wolf rubbed her head in frustration. "I feel like…I've lost someone. Someone close…"

He patted her shoulder awkwardly. "It's alright Wolf. You've got me. I'm here for you."

She blinked. "Of course," She nodded. "Of course you are, John." A sudden smile. "Thank you. I – I needed that." Turning, she walked around the console, pushing buttons and wiggling random components. The TARDIS landed, the rotor coming to a rest.

She checked the screen, looking up to grin at John. "At least we're back in our own universe, eh?"

John went to the doors, opening them and glancing up. His face fell. "You might want to rethink that, Wolf." He pointed at the zeppelins soaring around London.

* * *

Commander Skorr burst into the room as both TARDIS dematerialized, fading into thin air with raucous groans. His face tightened. The Sontarans would never forgive this insult. He whirled and turned to his second in command. "Set course for the Doctor's favorite planet. Earth."

* * *

**A/N: pjcrazy, the actual author, asked me to express his gratitude to you for giving his fic a read, and also to me (Which is weird to write. I'm basically thanking myself right now) for letting him. Thanks to him again for putting the time and effort into it simply because he was inspired by my story. If you liked this, he offers the other stories he has written over on his profile for further reading. **


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